December 5, 2009

WHITE BOYS CAN’T WHAT? V: Whyte Cloud -- Wipe Yourself After That Royal Flush!

Naming oneself, coincidentally, after a well-renowned brand of cottony-soft bathroom tissue might not be the ideal way to build an intimidating rep on the blacktop. The imagery of being used as a receptacle for opponents’ posteriors on their way to the hoop… not exactly what’s hot in the streets, no?

Such a sobering sobriquet didn’t appear to hinder Forrest Ray “Whyte Cloud” Fisher III, a 6’4” former junior college hoopster, Marine, and briefly prominent NBA D-Leaguer who sent his rep sky-high after wowing ballers and fans alike on the AND1 Mixtape Tour. After getting waived in the NBDL, Fisher made a run for the border two years ago, and has been wrecking shop down in Mexico’s pro leagues.

His exploits with lower-tier online streetball outfits was what truly caught the attention of the AND1 elite, and his dominating performances during Open Run got him first “In the Building,” then “On the Bus” after showing out in the feature contest, leaving announcer Duke Tango clearly in need of some White Cloud toilet paper after that last “OOOOOH, BABY!” So automatic from long-range, he later boasted, “I am the best shooter in America, right now, nobody can prove me different.Professor Who??

Thanks to Tom Hanks’ low-IQ, Oscar-winning performance, running the streets as a lanky white dude named “Forrest” these days almost demands adopting a nickname… pick any one! But Fisher’s choice of a fluffy, absorbent, 2-ply alias doesn’t need explaining on the courts anymore. Ask this dude caught under the rim below to explain why they called him “Whyte Cloud,” and you won’t hear no **** about Mr. Whipple. Rather, after he gets his neck fixed, he’ll let you know Whyte Cloud had a penchant for bringing the thunder and raining down on unsuspecting bruthas’ parades.

Whyte Cloud’s online rep and newfound hype got him some burn during the NBA’s budding D-League tryout camp. He managed to get drafted in the 8th round, and started the season as a backup guard with the L.A. D-Fenders for a few games.

You just don’t wanna gamble with this guy, whether he’s taking you to the hole… or holding three Aces on the Flop. See, the new forecast for Whyte Cloud is not an appearance in the NBA, but the WSOP, as a professional poker player. One way or another, Gilbert Arenas, watch out… Forrest Fisher is comin’ for ya!

Now more popularly known in cyberspace as “TRYPL3THR3AT 7”, Fisher came away with a little bit of dough at the Oklahoma State Championship of Poker. His furious obsession with online poker caused him, admittedly, to not be playing with a full deck at times, so to speak…

"I really did get addicted to playing online poker. Is this a bad thing, yes when it rules your life. i was playing between 16 and 20 hours a day, everyday. no lie. ok, you wanna know what about my job, i play basketball professionally and it was the offseason. it all really started with this 1 day. read the following blog about that day.

"well, it was so bad i would go to sleep with the mouse in my hand and wake up and get right to playing. after about a month of this and people starting to say something about it i started to drink, and drink alot. Now let me say 1 thing, heavy drinking and playing for profit is not a good combination. i got down and nearly lost everything, wife, job, money, everything.

"The first part of stopping the problem is admitting you have one. Luckily i did, just in time too. I went to rehab and got some therapy. Well, i am back and healthier than ever. I must say my poker sucks now though. But i will let you put that up to the test. Im no longer addicted but the poker junkie in me still lives. lol

"Just remember, poker is fun, lots of fun, but it should never take the place of what really matters in life. Just a little testimony."

Sounds like a dude who's getting his life back in balance. From now on, when he’s bringing “The Nuts,” Fisher hopes it’ll be against the likes of cats like Phil Ivey, rather than Royal Ivey.

Still think Whyte Cloud won’t get where he wants to go? You’d better not bet on it.


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