September 3, 2008

White Boys Can't WHAT? Part I: Tyler Oh-My-a!

(We’re all about equality here at Nasteedunx. Often focusing on the biggest SportsCenter Top Play-inducing names in the hoops world, often we lose sight of the more ebonistically-challenged among us who are still blessed with insane hopz… and hold no reservations showing it off on their opponents. In honor of our pastier pals, we periodicially feature them on a segment we like to call “White Boys Can’t WHAT?”)
It’s a long, long ride from Elkhart, Indiana to Bellingham, Washington with not much to do in between. On the road to the Elkhart Express’ defense of their title at the International Basketball League championship, Coleco Buie really should’ve spent some of his idle time reading the scouting report on Tyler Amaya of the Bellingham Slam.

Unfortunately for him, the two-time defending IBL champs may have headed to Whatcom County a bit too overconfident to take heed to stuff like this…

Rangy, high-flying, tenacious board-crasher, a triple-double threat at just over 6-foot-6. Likes to spend a LOT of time in the air. Equipped with a mouth gets him in trouble from time to time. IBL All-Star starter who probably got a few tips on his dunking skills from special-guest IBL All-Star-weekend player Shawn Kemp.

May still have a chip on his shoulder when Gonzaga didn’t give him much time to play, driving him to Dixie State College and Division II’s Western Washington University. Local state-high-school and junior-college champ who might do anything to give his hometown a spectacular, memorable championship victory.

Loves destroying weak zone defenses, either by popping threes over the top, or by coming off a curl and tip-slamming on people's heads, like THIS…

As demonstrated, will unapologetically smash even on his own teammate to score the bucket. More than happy to posterize would-be defenders and put their shame on full display on his MySpace page. Will try to take advantage inside, especially since our 7-foot-2 center missed the team bus back in Elkhart, Indiana and won’t play in the championship game. Be sure to have somebody box him out of the lane on rebounds, at all costs…

Coleco Buie should have read the scouting report on Tyler Amaya.

Instead, Buie wound up with the kind of ColecoVision you DON’T wanna play with. Plus, he and his Elkhart Express wound up leaving Bellingham without another trophy.


1 comment:

  1. UPDATE: According to his MySpace Page, it looks like Magnum T.A. has jumped the other ocean to China. He'll be ballin with a team in Dong Guan, of all places. Sun Yue's gotta be like, "Phew! I got the hell outta there just in time!"

    Nasteedunx: "Say, Coleco, can you provide the phrase 'Dong Guan' in a sentence?"

    Coleco Buie: "Dawg, I'm just glad to hear Tyler's Dong Guan off to China, fo real!"



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